The Hallway - Part 2

As I sit here this morning, I am still waiting to hear from a couple of businesses for various reasons. For instance, waiting to hear from potential contractors regarding doing some work on my house and an application I sent regarding a freelance job. I have discovered that the business world has become a lot like the dating world, and not in a good way.

After I sent off the email or left the message, I diligently check my email and phone for messages multiple times a day. Okay. Let's be honest. I check them obsessively. Then, I wonder why I haven't heard back. Did they not get the email? Did I sent it to the wrong address by mistake? Are they just not interested? Thousands of thoughts run through my mind, most of them negative. Hope soon goes from soaring in the clouds to crashing in the desert.

I could have just been describing a new love interest, but I'm actually talking about job applications. How hard is it to send an email saying "we have received your application"? Better yet, how hard is it to send a form email that says "we are just not that into you"? If the contractor doesn't want to do the job, he should just say that he is too busy to take on new work. That is polite and professional.

Unfortunately, we live in a world of passive aggressive people so hesitant to offend that they refuse to do anything. It may hurt to hear that someone is not interested in you, personally or professionally, but it hurts less than running around wondering for months on end when the other party has known it all along.

Then, I wonder if I often do that myself. How often has God tried to speak to me, and I have pretended like I didn't get the message? Somehow we have it in our minds that  by not responding we have left the situation open. But, in the end by not responding we have made a choice. We have, in essence, refused because we did not accept. Just like a gift does not become yours until you receive it, an opportunity is refused if you do not accept it.

I stand in the hallway again, trying to decide which door to open, but if I don't eventually try a door, any door, I will go nowhere. The opportunity will be missed as if it never existed if I don't make a move. So, I must keep trying even if the other parties refuse to respond because I am only responsible for my actions, not theirs.

I'll never know which doors are locked until I knock or try the handle, so...which door shall I try first....

Procrastination

Procrastination is the art of putting off until tomorrow what you don’t want to do today by doing something less distasteful. Usually, people put things off by checking their e-mail or Facebook. When faced with a deadline, I often procrastinate by doing things that make me feel productive while not actually doing the thing I dread. For instance, when faced with grading week 2 of my online class, I cleaned out my refrigerator and took out the trash and washed up the mess. I have been putting off cleaning out the refrigerator for over a week because I hate doing it, but suddenly that seemed superior to grading. I often get a lot of mundane house cleaning done on days that grades are due. I take a “break” from grading to wash dishes or clean out the refrigerator.

One Friday, the day on which grades are due, I had an epiphany of sorts…a light bulb moment if you will. God knows everything. God knows I do this. Is it possible that God sends things my way, things I don’t like or want, in order to motivate me to do something He has already given me to do? For instance, did he make my “day” job so miserable that the uncertainty of becoming a full-time writer seemed more attractive? 

If this is true, then couldn’t I make my life a lot easier by not procrastinating? Wouldn’t I be better off finding ways to motivate myself, like the refrigerator/grading scenario, before God decides to get involved?

Just a thought.

Patterns

Understanding patterns can often be a little stressful and aggravating. It doesn’t matter what kind of pattern it is. For instance, I oncen had to restart a knitting project 5 times because I didn’t understand the pattern. I thought I did until I got a few rows in and realized something was dreadfully wrong. Then, I’d pull out all the stitches, get out the instructions, read over them again, consult with experts, and start again. With the help of two experts over the course of two days, it finally became clear what the problem was: perspective. I obviously didn’t have the right one. The pattern was for a hat, which is in the round, but the person who wrote the pattern had laid it out in a way that was foreign to me. When the expert showed me that the pattern is like a map of the globe that has been drawn out on a flat surface, the pattern started to make sense.

There is a pattern in Philippians chapter 2 that also can seem foreign and difficult at first glance:

⁵ Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:

⁷ But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

⁸ And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

The only pattern that is of any real importance is that of Christ. As Christians, we are to follow the pattern of Christ. In this world, it seems odd – foreign, if you will – to become a servant and serve others and be obedient to commandments that seem outdated to nonbelievers. However, when you talk to the Expert, it slowly begins to make sense. That sometimes means, ripping out the stitches and starting over again until we get it right, but the end result is worth the effort.

Trust/Faith

It's amazing how things come back around. I hope I have finally learned this lesson, but I'm afraid it will probably come around again. It's easy to see the vision on the mountaintop, but it's easy to lose sight of it in the valley. It's all about FAITH.

Haggai 2:4 - “Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, saith the LORD; and be strong, O Joshua, son of Josedech, the high priest; and be strong, all ye people of the land, saith the LORD, and work: for I am with you, saith the LORD of hosts:”

Psalm 9:10 – “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalm 40:4 – “Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.”

Joshua 8:1 - “And the Lord said unto Joshua, Fear not, neither be thou dismayed: take all the people of war with thee, and arise, go up to Ai: see, I have given into thy hand the king of Ai, and his people, and his city, and his land:”

Do you see a pattern here? These are the verses that have been coming to me since Sunday. Twice in one day I was given the word to “be strong” and then “trust in the Lord,” followed by “work.” I keep getting encouragement to work and not be afraid of failure because God is in it and I can trust him to keep his promises. Oh yeah, that was the scripture from the sermon Sunday Philippians 1:6. When I get the same word from various places and people on this scale, I know that God is speaking to me. I only have to listen and heed what he has to say.

Trust in the Lord.

Have faith.

Be strong…work.

Wait Patiently

I decided to resurrect my blog, and I was looking through it and realized that my blogs from my old web page never made it to my new blog. This one is still as true today as 3 years ago. It's a lesson I have to be reminded of on a regular basis.

I really hate those two words sometimes. I don’t know how many times I have prayed and gotten this as a response. Today’s scripture was Psalm 40, which starts out with - you guessed it - “wait patiently.” Deep sigh. The other word for the day was to put away your worries, which goes along with verses 3-4 of Psalm 40:

I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

² He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

³ And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

I need to put my trust in him, which means I shouldn’t worry but wait patiently. Easy words to say, but they are difficult to follow. Although, it really shouldn’t be. Just yesterday I went to get Saturday’s mail out of the mailbox and was pleasantly surprised to find my $40 Visa rebate card had already arrived and earlier on Saturday I had gotten $20 for some knitting I had done. Despite the fact that I recently lost my “day” job, I haven’t missed a paycheck. I may be scrambling a little to pay some bills on time, but I keep finding new sources of income. Trying out my hand at being a freelance writer is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I never had the courage to really try. Now, I’m sort of forced into it by circumstances, circumstances engineered by God. During the course of the last six months, several people have read my work or heard me telling a story and told me that I should be a writer. I already knew that, but I didn’t have the courage to do so.

Last week’s words were “be of good courage” and “work.” This week “trust in God” and “wait patiently.” I think the message is getting pretty clear. Unlike Belshazzar, I don’t think I want to wait for the writing on the wall (Daniel 5).

UPDATE 9/30/16: I recently had a class cancelled, which meant 6 weeks with half a paycheck just at a time I was finally catching up with bills. I waited as patiently as I could and tried not to panic. I have a part-time job on-line (6 hrs a week) that suddenly asked for people to take more shifts. I went from 6 hrs to 20 hrs a week, and then the school offered me another course that starts in 3 weeks and $100 for setting up the course that was cancelled. I'm not going to be short any money and in 3 weeks, I'll be getting a little extra to pay for some much needed repairs. 

Panic should no longer be an option. God will supply all of my needs. I just have to remember that before I press the panic button.