Conundrum

"To be, or not to be, that is the question" - Hamlet by Shakespeare

In the last week or so, I have been faced with a series of choices. Like Hamlet, I can choose to ____ or not to ______. Fill in the blanks for yourselves. I have been wrestling with whether or not a particular path is right or wrong or just not right for me. Robert Frost's poem about two roads in a wood are not particularly helpful at this point either. Decisions...decisions....decisions.

It is said that Hamlet's fatal flaw is his indecision. He can't make up his mind. However, when he finally does take action, it ends in the death of an innocent man and leads to a whole host of terrible events in which several innocent people lose their lives. It's not a work to inspire action on my part; it's more likely to make me even more cautious.

In my case, it is a question of whether it is time to quit, or not to quit a particular pursuit. It's also a case of whether to take an opportunity or decline it graciously. One of the Bible verses that I read today was Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.” I think this is probably the best advice; however, I could use a word from the Lord. I need some direction about now, and I've learned that GPS and map directions often lead you astray or plain get you lost in the woods.

For now, I'd just like a clear word from God regarding at least two burning issues in my life. There's a list of issues, but I'll settle for a clear direction on anything right now. I could use that cloud by day and pillar of fire by night about now.

Beautiful Mind

Our Sunday School lesson yesterday was on choosing joy when enduring hardships. It was fitting considering our pastor was air-lifted to UAB at midnight the previous evening with bleeding on the brain. Our pastor's wife sent back word that basically God was in control and for the church not to get discouraged because of the situation. Our teacher reminded us that we needed a plan of how to handle difficulties in order to be prepared as they can appear with little or no warning.

The sermon of the day was on having a Beautiful Mind and to Be Joyful. The emphasis was on things we can (and should) do in order to have the Mind of Christ as described in Philippians. One of the things listed was to read our Bible daily. I had just been thinking earlier in the week about how I needed a new plan for daily Bible reading. I wasn't being faithful in that area and knew I needed a method, if you will, for reading through the Bible. So, the sermon only reinforced my need.

That afternoon, one of the ladies in my Sunday School class sent out an Face Book request to see if anyone was interested in doing a group devoted to reading through the Bible in one year or at least reading the Bible daily. Over half a dozen women responded, saying they felt the same urge. We may not be able to meet on a weekly basis in person, but we can be accountable via Face Book. She also sent a link to an on-line app with different reading plans, which gave me exactly what I needed.

We called the group Beautiful Minds: Having the Mind of Christ. It is one of the main goals of daily Bible reading: to transform ourselves by the renewing of our minds. God knew what we needed and was already preparing hearts to be receptive. This time of difficulty is drawing us closer as a congregation and as a Sunday School class and calling us to have Beautiful Minds focused on what really matters: our relationship to Him.

Let's Make a Deal

My life lately has reminded me a lot of games of various kinds. This week it is reminding me of the show "Let's Make a Deal." You know there is that point in the game where there are 3 doors to choose from, and you have to pick one or just stay where you are? Well, I went from no doors (or even a window) to several possible doors. Different people are encouraging me to choose one or the other, and I'm trying to make wise decisions despite having a sinus headache all week. It's not easy.

Sometimes we are tempted to go through the first door that seems to be unlocked or opened by someone else because of the whole hallway effect, which makes me crazy. Still, I don't want to jump at the first opportunity because it might not be the best choice. I don't want to waste precious time doing something that is not God's will for my life just to satisfy fears, mine or other people's.

A couple of years ago I was faced with a similar dilemma, and I felt God saying that I should sow seeds everywhere and then leave it to God to bless the areas he chose to bless and walk away from the things he didn't. I applied for several jobs, and I sent in several book proposals. Nothing happened at first; however, almost a year later I received two different opportunities from those seeds.

So, I think the best plan is to not rush into anything, but sow seeds where the opportunities are given, and then let God close the doors and windows on places I was not meant to be. The human in me is begging for a big spotlight to shine down from Heaven on to the right door for me to go through, but I'll take a more subtle shutting of some doors, eliminating some choices, and a road sign or two to point me in the right direction because I don't want to make a deal with the devil. I'd just assume to stand firm until I feel God's hand guiding me to the right choice.

New Phase

Anybody out there ever played Phase 10? Well, it's a card game where you have a list of phases that you have to complete, such as 7 of one color or a run of 7. If you lay down your phase before the hand is ended, then you move on to the next phase on the next hand. What's aggravating about this particular game is when you have more than 4 players - which makes it more interesting - you sometimes can get stuck on one particular phase for multiple hands. It gets frustrating...aggravating...down right annoying. Sometimes you feel that you will never finish this particular phase...ever. Perpetually stuck in the same phase.

My life often feels like that. It feels like I'm stuck, and I can't get out. Sometimes it seems like it is beyond my control, but sometimes it's because I'm afraid to break out of my rut. Sometimes I stubbornly cling to my rut and wallow, but when God decides it's time to move forward, he will use whatever means necessary to urge us in the right direction...even dynamite the rut into oblivion around you until there is nothing left in the rut to hold on to.

Anyone who lives in the area of Calhoun County, Alabama recalls a recent incident regarding the detonation of some dynamite. It shook four counties. Recent events in my life made me feel like I was in the epicenter of that explosion, but now that the dust has settled and I can see around me, I see a whole new horizon with potential.

I think the next phase is beginning, and it's going to be drastically different in ways I don't even think I can imagine yet.

Why isn't there a hallway to Narnia?

I've often heard about the one door closing and another one opening. I'm actually in a place right now where I would like to see another door opening, only I find myself in a hallway full of closed doors. It reminds me of the moving staircases from Harry Potter or the episode from Warehouse 13 where the hotel hallways keep rearranging. The end result is that you keep going down the hallway, looking for a way out but you never find one.

In C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia, the entrance to Narnia is different every time. What I'm wondering is why wasn't there a hallway to Narnia? Hallways are by nature supposed to go somewhere, to connect things. However, several years ago I found myself in a metaphorical hallway, waiting for a door to magically open into a wonderful new adventure. I'm still waiting. Hallways weren't meant for loitering. They are claustrophobic and devoid of any views or fresh air. Right now I'd take a window, but windows in hallways are a rare thing, usually only at the end of the hallway.

I guess the only way out of the hallway is to write myself out. Like the song "Unwritten," I have to write my own story. But let it be known that I'm not against the idea of deus ex machina. I am more than happy to have God sending a helping hand from Heaven above. In fact, I'd much prefer it if he reached down and opened a door to Narnia...to anywhere...anywhere but another hallway.